Seven Years

It was seven years ago tonight when I began this current journey I’m on. That was when we, my wife and I, lost our firstborn son. That was the day I became a daddy. Eleven months later our first daughter was born 2 months too early, but I became a daddy 7 years ago tonight. That night was the beginning of the most wonderful experience I have had in my lifetime. It was that night that I first got a glimpse of understanding what it means to care about someone or something more than yourself. It was that first stab of a knife to the heart that opened it to the wonderful gift of parenthood.

It’s now seven years later and I have a wonderful six-year-old. Below is a video of her trotting this past weekend. Who would have thought five years ago when we finally diagnosed the CP she would have been trotting on a horse and climbing walls.

And the little one. What a character. “yeth”= “yes”, “babby” = ”Abby”, “yeah-yeah”= “Haley”, “I Abby”, “I Abby Cadabby”, “I Abbadoodle”.

Here’s Abby Cadabby on the mic

Man, I enjoy work, I enjoy friends, but there is nothing as fun and exciting as raising kids. Teaching them, Challenging them, helping them to challenge themselves. Loving them, and even smushing their cheeks. Laughing with them, Laughing at them, teasing them, Being daddy, being dad, being a patient, being a mom, wearing a funny hat, wearing crazy t-shirts that say SupperDad with pride, having a mug made just for you, and having your daughter remind you every day you drink from it and drinking from it every day just to hear her say it again. Falling asleep with her when you put her to bed while she is talking to you because you just can’t keep up with her. Tossing them on the bed, pillow fights, dressing up, being a doctor, giving back rides, being tough, being all of this. Being soo much less, being soo much more. Being entirely loved no matter what you look like, smell like, feel like, having them notice the mole on your neck and asking daddy are you okay. Being everything and more to the kids and knowing it. Is there anything like being a dad? Is there anything that can make you want to be the best that you can be, more than your kids, your wife, and your family? They’ll love you if you fail at everything else and fail them and they’ll still love you. I think I might know why too, maybe it’s because your kids know your soul, and they almost never lose an attachment to it. I know I’ll never lose my attachment to my first son who I lost 7 years ago tonight. I love you Zack, I love the soul I hope I’ll get to know someday.

and I can’t wait to do it all again with #3. Coming Early October.

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